It's 10PM, and I am frightened of going upstairs to bed by myself. I have gone to sleep withJennifer every night for the last 5 plus years, and now I am quite unsure of how to do it myself.
If you are awake this evening, will you pray with me through the watches of the night?
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August 12 2003, 19:20:57 UTC 8 years ago
August 12 2003, 20:05:19 UTC 8 years ago
I'm praying for you...and I pray you sleep too well to read this tonight...
I love you and Micah,
Brandon
August 12 2003, 20:12:13 UTC 8 years ago
Anonymous
August 12 2003, 20:20:57 UTC 8 years ago
alone...
Mark,I am praying for you as you spend this first evening without Jennifer. May you feel the tangible presence of another who lies beside you.
you are loved,
S.
Anonymous
August 12 2003, 20:21:01 UTC 8 years ago
Sleep, Child
Mark. I have been praying for you all along this journey, and now I ask that God will flood your soul with His being and with His truth and comfort. I asked earlier this evening that He will make things clear to you and Micah even without words, that His truth will enlighten your spirit, so that a complete trust in Him will supercede any thought that comes to your mind. There is purpose, and there is hope...and joy that holds you steadfast amidst the pain.I have lately been reading "Shattered Dreams" by Larry Crabb, and thinking of you all a great deal as I've been reading. I've found it very helpful in my walk. Some day, when you are ready to read, I would highly recommend it.
Until then, God is with you...
Laurie
Lake Tahoe
Anonymous
August 12 2003, 20:26:05 UTC 8 years ago
Anonymous
August 12 2003, 20:39:27 UTC 8 years ago
How do you find a way to give us all of you through your words? you humble me...
God, cradle this man, surpass this depth of this mystery by the depth of comfort You bring.
Mollie - indy
August 12 2003, 20:57:03 UTC 8 years ago
Wishing you peace,
Lori
August 12 2003, 21:02:56 UTC 8 years ago
may god's calming presence surround you as you drift into much-needed slumber.
Anonymous
August 12 2003, 22:05:55 UTC 8 years ago
Praying for you tonight...
I stumbled upon your journal, and I have wondered if you will ever know how many people you have touched. I found myself reading every entry, praying for a different ending. I read about your dear wife's passing today with a tear in my eye, for a woman I've never met. I don't know how I can possibly say anything to console you, but I take comfort in knowing that you have a strong relationship with Jesus, a strong community network, and many friends. Please know that someone from the West Coast you haven't met is praying for you tonight. Peace be with you.Anonymous
August 12 2003, 22:45:04 UTC 8 years ago
praying...
Mark,May God bless you and keep you my friend. I don't know if we have met, but who cares. I sense the weight of a missional friend in pain. I lift you before the living God.
In His Grip With You Brother,
Randy Buist
www.watersedge.tv
rbuist@watersedge.tv
Anonymous
August 13 2003, 00:32:22 UTC 8 years ago
~stacie
www.mosaic-church.net/ourblogs.html
August 13 2003, 01:04:50 UTC 8 years ago
God bless you....
~Debbie
August 13 2003, 04:49:48 UTC 8 years ago
Found your journal through
Anonymous
August 13 2003, 05:49:45 UTC 8 years ago
Last Night Prayer
Mark, although I hadn't read your journal entry last night, you were on my heart for prayer last night as I was going to bed. I prayed that the Lord would strengthen you for the journey ahead and that you would experience the presence of the Holy Spirit. You are not alone, but it is so hard sometimes to have that veil between the physical and spiritual ripped away. May the God of all comfort provide you with what you need. May you be a light even in this time. -Kendra BarrowAnonymous
August 13 2003, 05:53:47 UTC 8 years ago
jaq
I'll be praying for you.Take care!
Jaq
http://hazpafis.blogspot.com
August 13 2003, 06:07:05 UTC 8 years ago
I can't pretend to understand your loss, but I have always derived great comfort from books. Have you read Madeline L'Engle's memoir Two-Part Invention? She writes about her long marriage and her husband's battle, and eventual death, from cancer, and she's very wise. The one sentence she wrote that has stayed with me for a long time is simply: "It is hard to let go of beloved flesh."
I guess that's the point: it is just flesh. It's just a container for someone's spirit, which never dies, I think. That doesn't make letting go any easier, but... I think Jennifer's spirit will live on in the good you do every day and, she will certainly live on through your son. In fact, maybe it's what's propping you up right now, even though you probably feel like your insides are caving in. She's with you, helping you breathe and walk and sleep and take a shower and do all the stupid, mundane things you have to do even when something this awful happens.
Anonymous
August 13 2003, 06:17:35 UTC 8 years ago
Please know that you are guys are loved and surrounded in prayer. There have been many occasions recently when I wanted to leave a comment of support and encouragement, but words just failed me -- and still do. All I can say is that I am praying for you. I hope to be able to come to the calling hours this evening and show my support for you two. God's peace be with you.
-Chad (from Cincy)
Anonymous
August 13 2003, 07:00:38 UTC 8 years ago
I will pray
I will pray with you and for you every night, that Godwill hold you and comfort you at this dark time.
He walks the dark hills with us. As Jesus said,
" Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be
afraid".
Anonymous
August 13 2003, 07:11:25 UTC 8 years ago
Through the nite
Brother,I will pray for you this night and many others, my waking thought this morning was a feeling of peace, knowing that Jennifer is with our Lord and Master Christ Jesus. Mark I will continue to pray for you and Micah, I can't even begin to understand the depth of your loss.
May the words, prayers, and deeds of many who you may never meet this side of Heaven bring some measure of comfort to you.....
It is hard to be alone....but those of us who belong to Christ are never alone:
(Mat 28:20 KJV)......and, lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world. Amen.
From Bene Diction's blog:
Have courage for
the great sorrows,
and patience for the small ones.
And when you have
laboriously accomplished
your daily tasks,
go to sleep in peace,
God is awake.
Remember this as you try to sleep....God is awake, He will watch and keep you.
May God continue to Bless and Keep you,
Jeff (Cincinnati)
Anonymous
August 13 2003, 07:47:06 UTC 8 years ago
In Jesus Name, we pray... Amen.
Mark, Micah, last night I laid in bed praying for you and your family. I was overwhelmed with a sense of peace that is to come. I was begging God to fill my spirit as he fills yours immensely. You have touched people that have never met you, through your words that have humbled so many. I know they have humbled me in a way I can’t explain. Everyday I wake up, I check your journal to see if maybe just maybe there was a physical healing in Jennifer. I prayed that there was. But I also prayed that if there wasn’t going to be a physical healing, that the Lord would carry her in his arms, instead of all the pain. I have seen Jennifer in my minds eye, and I have pictured her frailty, yet I have also pictured the strength that she had. She fought a hard, hard battle and she won. She is spending eternity with her loving and gracious father. She has left behind so much love and the biggest gift ever, Micah. What a blessing he will surely be in your life. Every time you look at him, every time he smiles you will see the love flowing out of him that his mother carried inside of her. What a blessing he will be in your life. As the tears well in my eyes once more for you Mark I am on my knees. I will be praying for you till the end of my time here on earth. I will be loving your family because you are my family. You are my brother in Christ. Keep believing and keep following the love of the Lord. You will thrive, you will get through the sleepless nights. You will be strengthened through this loss, and you will be loved. I ask that Jesus will hold you in his arms today, and help you walk tall when necessary and that you will bow down when necessary. I pray that you can cry tears of sadness of sorrow, and grieve. May God bless you Mark, and Micah.In Christ,
Christina Six
Anonymous
August 13 2003, 08:25:58 UTC 8 years ago
Annie Lamott wrote the two greatest prayers are : Help Me, Help Me and Thank You, Thank You. I'll add a third for times like these:
God, You know...
Anonymous
August 13 2003, 08:45:57 UTC 8 years ago
from K Rains
Prepare for a mega hug bro... i can hardly wait to see you later. Call me if you need anything. 513.383.2854Anonymous
August 13 2003, 09:59:52 UTC 8 years ago
Christy (Canada)
Anonymous
August 13 2003, 10:40:43 UTC 8 years ago
Prayers
Please know that you are being prayed for. I prayed that God would lift Jennifer up in His arms yesterday and hold her up. I also prayed that you and your son would be comforted and filled with peace. I am quite certain that many have read your blog and have prayed without sending a comment on to you.I also wanted you to know that your family's faith is a testimony in itself to others and how I was lifted up by reading it. You are passing on a legacy to others by sharing your experiences and I was moved to know that through it all, you praised God daily.
Kimberly
Tulsa, OK
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